I've been married three years today. That's longer than almost anything I've done. I've held jobs for a year before, but not much longer. My LDS Mission was two years. I only was attending a "High School" for three years, and even that kicked me out during the summers. I've technically been in college longer, but that's not by much. But today marks three years of Marriage.
I live in an LDS congregation (ward) which is composed entirely of young married couples with children under the age of three. Frequently, we have people move in and say things like "We've been married for two months now, so we're really getting settled." or "We got married Wednesday." and then they have like, deer in the headlights eyes.
I know I have many friends and a couple people who may stumble across this who go, "Three years! Ha! That's nothing!" To them I say, "That's nice, but hush."
I want to talk about what has made my marriage work for three years.
Let me start by saying I was attracted to my wife long before that. When I was a senior and she was a freshman in High School I cat-called her. When her sister wrote me a letter as a missionary, I asked for her younger (and cuter in my mind) sister to write me. And as I got to know her, she was funny, and witty, and had good spelling. So I remember telling my missionary companion that I could see myself marrying someone like her. But not her of course. Becuase, you know, that'd be silly. Marrying someone right out of high school? Within a year of being home? Preposterous.
Well, then I made the choice to ask Natalie out, and there was no going back at that point. You see, once you start dating someone who really enjoys spending time with you, and happens to be good at, you know, everything, you may just find yourself raising a family with them. I loved, and still do, love bragging on Natalie. She's a very good dancer. She's incredibly smart, was the top of her graduating class, and has only gotten two A- grades in her whole life (including college now). She's a won competitions for public speaking and attended nationally sanctioned events. She is a good writer as she's come to discover through our marriage, but which I knew as a missionary. She is incredibly musically gifted, playing organ, piano, viola and violin. She's played around with a guitar and wants to learn Mandolin too. I mean, add to the fact that she's gorgeous, and you can see why people frequently told me I needed to "hurry up and marry that girl." Sometimes that's people being nosy or pushy. In my case it was, "Quick! Before she realizes there's life outside of high school!"
Well, I love those things about Natalie, and many more that I've learned through our marriage, but there's one quality that really has sealed the deal for me. It's the thing that Natalie is best at, and what makes her so good at so many things.
Natalie is a Finisher.
I have many weaknesses. Among them, probably my greatest is that I often put things off, sometimes indefinitely. Natalie has helped me to see the things that I can accomplish. She has done so much in that way through her life that it's easy to lean on her. Being married presents a lot of challenges. There are so many times that it'd be easier to run away and hide. To not work the extra hours to pay the rent. To not keep track of the budget. To not stick to our plans. To not finish school and just live life as we do now, which would be fine, but not as good as it could be. Natalie makes things happen. Natalie works hard, and she influences me to do the same. She makes sure things we commit to happen.
Most of all, she's committed to me. Through thick and thin, through good and bad. Even though discouragement, and disagreement and disappointment happen in life, Natalie has pushed through and been my biggest support. None of the good things have happened to or for me in the last three years happen without her. Natalie has helped me to stick to things longer. She's helped me work and make sacrifices I wouldn't or couldn't make alone.
Becuase of Natalie, things get done. Maybe this isn't the most romantic thing in the world, but it's the thing that enables the romantic things to still happen. It's awful hard to take time to blog when you don't have someone who has helped you stay on task. She hates when I'm busy, but she sacrifces so much of what she wants for me. I love her and am in her debt forever.
Hope the next 1,000 days are even better than the first 1,000. :)
Stick to your task ’til it sticks to you;
Beginners are many, but enders are few.
Honor, power, place and praise
Will always come to the one who stays.
Stick to your task ’til it sticks to you;
Bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it, too;
For out of the bend and the sweat and the smile
Will come life’s victories after a while.
—Author Unknown
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