There is, however, something that some one chose to do that came totally out of left field a couple weeks ago.
Let's start with the back story. Every good blog involves flashbacks. The more you read this, the more you'll believe that. Work with me.
When ALA was not yet open, the powers that were in charge of the school decided that the best plan was to have a school wide picnic and play games. A fair few quirky things happened on the day in question that made me reconsider what glorious boones there may be for me at the school, while simultaneously making me more determined that I was sketchy at best with my prospects of attending this new school. It was a strange feeling. This aside, however, I had determined that with my fresh start, I'd definitely try to be more friendly and out going. Contrary to popular belief, I have not always been the stud muffin that I am today. So when I walked up to a certain cute girl and said, "Best Friend!" I got a gift I treasured.
I'll never forget the unmistakable look of "I'm homeschooled!" that flashed across this girl's face when she responded somewhat dazedly "Best friend?"
That statement proved to be truer that I ever could have imagined. Question mark and all.
School began, and as young 15 year olds we became fast friends. We only had seminary together, but we talked all the time, and we had a lot of good talks about things. She had this insane gift where she could read me better than most people. I had kind of a weird adjustment to my my working out of the home for the first time in my life. Of all my friends and teachers, she was the only one to notice that this kind of got to me, and understood why I felt the way I did. She just had a knack for it. It's like we'd always known each other.
So, because I was so wonderful, and she was so nice (a little weird, but nice), I had a crush on her. I highly doubt the older I get that this was ever particularly subtle, and have learned that subtly is not really my strong suit in anything, much less when I like a girl. My wife reaps the benefit of this. As time drew on, we ended up going on a date, and flirting and holding hands and doing all the wonderful exciting things that 16 year olds do.
And then something happened.
To this day I'm not sure either of us really remembers why or what or how, but we went from best of friends to bitter enemies in a very short amount of time. This was probably the most intense mutual dislike I have with anyone I've ever known. I said a lot of things that I absolutely am ashamed of. I heard slander about me that was terrible to the point that a girl I asked to prom said no to me based on the witness of this girl. In my eyes, this girl was the biggest hypocrite I'd ever met. On the few rare occasions we were civil to one another, the fallout led to even uglier and more intense dislike. It was common knowledge that I handled this mostly with insults, and taking pride in the "fact" that we were never such good friends to begin with, and she probably had mental issues. I'm not sure what she thought about me, but those things were probably similar, except she probably thought I was a huge jerk and that people could get an infectious disease from breathing air in the same space I was in.
This took place over the course of over the course of more than 2,200 days. With time, the sting of losing a friend no longer hurt, and I really didn't remember anything other than the fact that she wouldn't talk to me if I had tried. In my own mind, I'd done my due diligence to repair the friendship a long time before, and I was no longer going to pursue that path ever again.
Now jump to the early part of March. I'm sitting in the Atlanta, GA Airport with my hott wife. We've missed our connecting flight because our airline messed up, so we're both tired after 13 hours in the airport, and a wonderful week long cruise together. I noticed that I had a missed call from my deep voiced best friend, someone I've known and cherished for 10 years. He asked if I'd be willing to give my e-mail address to this living cancer to my life. I laughed and asked why. I mean, it's not like she couldn't send me a facebook message. I knew other people that were her friend thereon, and so I figured she probably just wanted to send me a virus for good measure. That something must have gotten a bee in her bonnet about me again, and she just couldn't stop going for the throat. He asked her for me, and found out she just wanted to send me an apology e-mail.
At this point, I was surprised, amused, and a little humbled. Still skeptical, but if this was going to be genuine, I'd be ok with it. I didn't want some sissy, "I've felt really bad, and just to get this off my chest, I'm sorry for whatever, now don't talk to me again;" apology. If this was going to be worth my time to respond to, I wanted groveling. I wanted admitting full responsibility. I wanted a knowledge that this person was giving me power to hold my grudge and with hold forgiveness as long as I wanted.
Please note, that this is not the way I normally am. I try really hard to forgive quickly, and sometimes I forget before I have to forgive so I don't even feel offended by the time an apology comes. This was different for me.
The response, however, still blew me away. When someone has the personal strength to say something like, "I am sorry that your good opinion of me had to disappear and be replaced by an opinion that was founded in my poor behavior," shows a level of understanding of what it would take to win me over that astounded me. I shouldn't have been, knowing what our friendship was like before. Nonetheless, this girl bowed down at my feet and begged, so to speak. I instantly found myself on the wrong side of the coin. I too felt a need to not only accept this emphatic apology, but to redouble my efforts to her to win her favor.
I am not one to be easily swayed. I have to truly believe someone in order to give them six years of credit in one swoop. She earned it.
She took further steps, too. I pointed out to her that she could have just added me on Facebook. In her response to me, she explained that she'd stopped using it, and then went so far as to restore her Facebook on my account. I threw the bait to see if she was serious about being friends again by suggesting she do dinner with the Mrs. and I. She took me up on it, and did so excitedly. She absolutely put her money where her mouth was.
I think there's one last thing to point out. This was two sided. Firstly, it required a lot for her to go from "I hate even your name" to "I am writing to say sorry." It took courage, and humility, and an understanding that there was a chance, if not probability that I wouldn't respond, or would do so rudely. I however, had to choose to forgive her. Hers required greater courage by far. All mine required was humility.
How lucky, though, am I to have been restored to someone with whom I felt I was destined to be friends with.
That's all for today; but I actually have more to come. :)
P.S. The Savior taught, "My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened. Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds." A revelation given to the prophet Joseph Smith recorded in the book of Doctrine and Covenants section 64 verses 8-11
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